2011的最后一天

趁着还没到明年，
快点打今年最后一篇的帖子。


最近超忙
忙到，连睡觉的时间都没有
“好朋友”都一直来找我
很多人问：“你很多天没睡觉了啊？”
*超伤心


忙些什么呢？
学校，教会
尤其最近有圣诞节
学校赶很多东西 *临开学嘛
试过全部老师晚上回学校开工
也是昨天才可以做完啊


今年的圣诞节
收到很多很多的礼物
比我的生日礼物还多咧
哈哈
大部分都是我缺乏的
上帝的礼物来的真是巧
我收到杯，水壶，香水，颈链，耳环，面膜，还有一大堆很有用的东西...
哈哈
我还收到一个钱包
*开心 =D

明年有很多的新体验
我期待明年
希望我的服侍可以更进步
很开心我可以继续“喝奶”
哈哈

最近教会有一位牧师的母亲
蒙主的恩召
接回天家
整个追思礼的过程让我觉得很平安

明年啊
我要学会化妆！
我不会化妆
哈哈

好吧
赶时间
是时候走人了

明年见 =)

A new Hallelujah

wow.
it's had been long time didn't update my bloggie.
*haaaa. seems every post started with this sentence.


alright.
my life, BUSY.
I'm a teacher
I'm a student as well.


I love my class.
Middlers-class
a lots of funny voices.
a lots of crazy laughters.
a lots of "complain".
a lots of mischieves student.
They are CUTE enough.
I love them so much.
Although some of them would made me like...@@
haha.


the last day,
"party day"
first time ever i saw Janice performed dance.
it was drove my crazy.
She were crazy and cute enough.
go on, Janice. xD

i feel proud of Angie,
she has changed a lots a lots a lots.
she took "best improvement student".
ya.
she deserved it.


at the same day,
I went for "award night" @ my old school.
LOL.
someone made me LOL.


Holiday.
hmm........
work, study, church, pak toh...


yea.
I LOVE MY CHURCH.

i realize something.

cried few times because of it.

i don't know what going on actually.

last friday was my last day in school.

i didn't tell anyone what is the reason i absent.

my eye swollen like gold fish.

fortunately,

i have YAMMIES.

i love them so much.

they can send me some positive msg.

i love my shepherd,

she said :" don't like that lar, we are still be with you."

yes, after talked with her,

i woke up.

Quite busy recently,

busy for church work.

haha, my days are meaningful.

I love ECA.

ECA 10th anniversary.

i'm expecting of it. =)

next monday.

had an interview with Ps.Alice just now.

yea, i feel blessed.

and i feel touch, when i'm talking with her.

i told her, "i will do my best."

i didn't mean to boycott others gang of friend who are not ECA members.

i'm still love them.

truthfully,

i really miss them.

this is the one, i always told my shepherd.

hmm.

i thought i recovered.

in fact, i'm just too busy,

and forget.......

while i'm free.......

Sorry to him,

sorry for my inhospitality,

I'm not cool to you on purpose.

sometime, i busy...

sometime, i was too free, and simply think.

Since that day,

i realize, i won't let you go that easy,

i'm still feeling sorry for the day.

You hold my hand and said "is ok, everything is past..."

I love you.

had been few months didn't update my bloggie.

my life,

so-so.

i'm going to PD for church family camp this sunday.

i'm taking baptism.

God, wash over my sin,

i confess my sin to you.

save and help me Lord.

i'm a sinner,

i have sin.

i can't even accept what i did.

i can't sleep well.

and i cry.

sorry that i can't be a good sample in God.

i did confess my sin and i will not do it again, for sure.

but something that i did is unforgettable.

i know God will forgive me.

but i can't even forgive myself.

sorry Lord,

save me.

18-6-11

My recent life.

not in a good condition.

but, thanks Lord, that's not considered bad.

i'm sick.!

my head has been dizzy for 2 days.

and i'm having allergic.!

sucky body.!

I've no idea why i get allergic.

My neck has also been infected.!

i keep nagging my mum that

"mii, i feel dizzy."

and my mum said:

"Maybe you didn't eat meat, blood-pressure is low, and causing dizzy."

I can't eat meat lar. T.T

I hate meat.!

i missed out today's oikos carenet.

They went to sing k.

Due to physical problem,

i can't go anywhere.

Pray.

Prayer make things happened.

yes.!

this truth.!

i try to seek God by pray.

i saw a hazel-tiles, never-ending path in front of me.

It's brighten.

Is that symbolized "future"?

or the way to seek God?

Lord, i'm fully willing to walk the way that you giving me.

Your plan is the best ever plan, to everyone.

So, I didn't complain my life.

I must be faithful to you.

Except sick,

my life is awesome.!

because God love me so much.!

he sent me many angels.

I love them.

and here i want to say,

I LOVE MY MUMMY.! =D

she saw my changed.! xD

imissthestupidhim. xD

我和他

很多人都很想知道我和他到底是什么关系吧.

好吧.

是时候好好交代和澄清这件事情.

=)

毕竟, 只有这样的方式, 我才可以交代得比较清楚,

也不必一直重复.

我和他,

没有正在所谓的"交往".

关系, 超乎友情以上.

总得来说: 我们不是男女朋友, 只是在等待着对方.

*很幼稚吧.

什么等不等待...

是啊~

等着什么?

等待, 对的时机.

我和他都有共识.

都知道彼此还小,

对于彼此和"爱"也还没完全了解.

所以,不会那么快发展去到那种地步.

我和他认识的时间,

我指的是: 真正的认识.

今天才一个月.

可是, 这一个月里,

我知道很多很多他的过去.

也知道以前的他,

并不是一般年轻人的叛逆.

很多人都叫我不要太过认真于他.

毕竟他的底真的很花.

我有拒绝过, 我说我们只能当普通朋友.

因为他, 我和我最在乎的朋友闹翻.

因为他, 我不开心了一段时间.

因为他, 我和朋友之间有一道诉苦的墙.

因为他, 我一直胡思乱想第说: "他到底是真是假?"

说真, 到现在, 我还是不能分辨. =)

可是我知道,

他变了很多~

他身边的朋友们甚至老师,

都可以看见他一路以来的改变~

从不爱读书, 在学校只是睡觉, 爱打架~

到现在, 很乖, 功课很好, 考试也不错~ =D

他总是害怕我会喜欢上"他"(蓝先生)

他总是害怕我会被朋友伤害.

他总是害怕我会因为朋友的"教唆"而离开他.

因为他知道我的朋友们对我也是很重要.

他很肉麻~

总是爱和我说些有的没有的东西.

逗得我不晓得要忙着开心还是害羞.

好玩的家伙~ xD

他...

很成熟.

他的成熟可以当一个领袖.

他可以领唱.

*这一点是他最吸引我的地方~ XD

他说: "我想找到一份稳定的工作和收入, 才要和你在一起, 因为这样才可以给你幸福. "

他总是埋怨说现在的他不可以给我任何的幸福.

其实有一度我想说: "为什么那么麻烦啊? 既然相爱的话, 等到来也不是多余?"

*纯粹有这一种得空没事干的念头

我曾经埋怨过,

为什么上帝要在这个时候放一个这样的人物在我身边?

我要赶我的学业, 我的使命, 还有重心放在家人和教会身上.

此外, 现在的我, 是状况最糟糕的状态,

我的脸, 因为身理的关系, 冒了脸毒.

我总是爱想说: 为什么要在这种超级不对的时间发生超级不对的事情.

毕竟, 对自己不是很有信心.

*他是一个帅哥哦~ xD

可是, 这就是事实.

没有办法改变的事实.

以圣经的角度去想: 主的安排是最好的.

这一次的关系,

我们都很公开.

对与教会和家人, 我们更加不想隐瞒, 反而会很坦白.

不想隐瞒些什么, 因为, 大家都是一家人 . =)

我想说: 我爱我唯一的主, 我爱我的教会, 我爱我的家人.

你们都是我最在乎, 最尊敬的家人. =)

31-5-11

刚刚无聊没事干.

在facebook逛下逛下,

看到一个姐妹的部落格.

我喜欢她写的方式.

虽然没有一般的文采.

照片也没有很多.

可是,就是她那种很真的表达方式,

吸引住我.

我认识她没有很深.

虽然可能每次去教会都有见面.

谈天? 十句不到吧.

从她的部落格可以知道她是一个怎样的人.

起初还以为她是一个奇奇怪怪的女生.

甚至觉得她是不是有一点???

但是, 不知道从几时开始就有在注意她.

那时社区服务日还和她同组.

原来, 她蛮有自己的性格.

刚刚随便地看了几篇她写的"文章",

其实那只是很小的一件事情.

可是也被她感动到了.

我没有试过看一篇文章会看到"哭".

但是她成功的让我为她的文章流下一滴泪.

没有很好的文采.

但却包含了最真实的感情.

好吧.

换话题~ xD

最近部落格都在用华文.

一来, 自己的英文还需要加紧地去进步.

二来, 用英文很难表达我要的东西.

和教会的朋友关系有慢慢进步.

尤其是自己小组的.

不错嘛~

=D

很多牧委都去了 sibu 参加那里的师徒先知大会.

很感动哦~

竟然有三个牧委会发信息给我和报告他们的状况.

尤其是 jemima, 有那么地吓到一下~ xD

哈哈~

但愿主赐给他们一个很丰富的领受.

6月, 回学校啦.!

粉开心.!

久违了我的学校~

这次, 用不一样的心情回去学校.

=)

7 月教会举办一个 "show night".

OMG~

我该表演什么啊?

教会的人多才多艺.

我去那里献丑?

想说当观众就好,

可是他们都说: "支持下教会的活动啦~"

*也对啦.

哎喲~ 我可以和他们表演什么??

本小姐除了在学校敢表演敢玩得开也不会感到一丝害羞以外,

在别的地方还是会感到..."害羞" xD

我知道教会是我的家,

毕竟, 我才加入这个家才半年.

昨天和教会的朋友们有一个 steamboat 派对.

其实他们是说 BBQ.

可是去到就只有 steamboat.

也好~

本小姐在戒口当中.

我整半个月没有吃过鸡肉了.

有一度真的很想破戒,

为了我的宝贝脸,

我忍.!

*最近一直找苦瓜吃. (???)

回到原题, 派对.

hmm~认识了几个新的朋友啦.

也见识到他们每天所提到的人物.

他们家有一只小狗.

*超可爱.!!!*

我想念 JJ. (Even lee, don't so touch.! xD)

6月开始,

不能乱花钱了.

刘凤鸣, 你要学习储蓄.!

其实你的零用钱比身边的朋友还多.

要节省一点了.

不然, 你的东西就要泡汤咯~ xD

现在的目标: 搞好我的学业, 我的使命. 愿主报佑. =)

This is our God - hillsongs

Your grace is enough, more than I need
At Your word I will believe
I wait for You, draw near again
Let Your Spirit make me new

And I will fall at Your feet
I will fall at Your feet
And I will worship You here

Your presence in me, Jesus light the way
By the power of Your word
I am restored, I am redeemed
By Your Spirit I am free

And I will fall at Your feet
I will fall at Your feet
And I will worship You here, oh Lord

Freely You gave it all for us
Surrendered Your life upon that cross
Great is the love poured out for all
This is our God

Lifted on high from death to life
Forever our God is glorified
Servant and King rescued the world
This is our God

This is a nice worship song.

It could touch me.!

and let me feel Jesus Christ.

*whenever i hear this song, goosebumps.!

especially chorus part.

and the drumbeat.!!! *wow*

cool~

thanks Jesus for surrendered your life upon the cross. ♥

24-5-11

最基本的礼貌都没有.
你有什么资格当一个基督徒?
不要笑死人啦~
还说你是一个基督徒~
Go away.!
当朋友当到这样.
对你这个朋友我不生气.
我不喜欢生气人, 也不喜欢讨厌人.
对你,
我只有失望.

21-5-11

had a Malacca trip with ECA YAM yesterday.

wow.!

awesome trip.!

*although the hot weather was killing all of us.

met them up at 2 pm.

we had a "angel act" during the trip.

when i know who i want to take care,

i was like: har? how should i take care of this person?

*LOL

the first journey,

Janice, Glen and me have the same car.

*lol

on the way,

the car has been shaking.

Janice shown me by her phone: "we are sitting on Ogawa".

when i get her mean,

*lol

we both laughed till like crazy.

the driver ( i forgot what his name @@) and Glen kept looking on us,

and guess what's wrong with us.

i had took a nap for few ten minutes.

when i woke up,

i saw Glen is capturing janice's sleeping look.

*lol

have him captured me?

never mind.

because my hair was covered my face when i sleeping.

xD

on the half way,

because our car had some problem,

i changed to Jenn's car.

some feeling come over me during sitting in Jenn's car.

*write after i reported our schedule. =D

when i reached there,

Malacca is a nice-view-place.!

*hengdaijimui, next time we plan to there ok? =)

i thought i could go Malacca to enjoy the foods.

so i missed my lunch.

but, sad case,

all there food are so-call "toxic food".

i have severe dieting because of my face.

the whole day i only had a breakfast, snake food and a hotdog at Malacca.

i missed out chicken ball rice, rendang chicken rice and SATAY.!

><

those satay look delicious.

OMG

i only could watched them enjoy the foods.

irritated me.!

although i couldn't eat,

but i enjoyed to serve them.

hahaha~

we went back at 12 something.

i sat Jacob's bro's car.

on the way,

Keanu and Darren kept made fun.!

they are really fun.

especially Darren's imitated.

*lolsss

and i had a good talked with mei ling.

She taught me a lots.

Thanks God sent such a good angel to me.

i received a lot from her.

regarding the "angel act".

*haaa

what i did to the people i took care?

i only bought a bunch of fruit to her. xD

i'd no idea what should i do...

i have been looking for way to take care of her,

but this person is so close with me,

i couldn't care her obviously and goof my identity.

i was kept thinking what can i do for her.....

at last , *haha, i only bought a brunch of fruit.

who was the person i took care??

*dang dang* my shepherd- Jenn.

*lolsss~

Jenn,

don't complain i merely bought a brunch of fruit to you.

do you know what my angel do to me??

NOTHING. *OMG

she only been my fan FOR WHILE when i'm sweating.

she is Alice Yong. xDD

i reached home at 2 something,

EXHAUSTED.!

and hungry some more. ><

i had called my dad reserve or buy some food for me.

and i told him i freaking hungry.

but he didn't do that.

*am i his daughter?

*actually i already know he wont reserve or buy any food for me, but i still called him, am i foolish? ya.! i think so.

ok, return to the part while i sitting in Jenn's car.

其实, 我知道你们对我的要求.

虽然你们都没有说出口.

从我懂事以来,

我家人很少真正的去照顾我.

所以无可否认, 我的确很自由.

我自由到的程度,

我去朋友家过夜两天他们才发觉到我的不存在.

即使我离家,

他们都不会自动打电话给我.

在家人里面,

谁对我最约束呢?

姑姑.

她对我的感情生活很敏感.

她总是害怕我现在会谈恋爱.

曾经因为我只是和男同学在一起等父母,

她就找完我所有朋友们的电话号码,

一个一个去找去问我是不是谈恋爱.

其实, 虽然我很生气她这样的举动.

她的方法很不成熟.

但是, 有谁知道其实我很感动.

因为她爱我, 她关心我啊~

每次和朋友出夜街,

他们的家长都会催他们回家,

甚至担心他们.

*其实我很羡慕.

前天,

和朋友出去吃东西,

10 点多打给父母,

我妈说: 半个小时就来.

一个小时过了,

我再打, 我爸说:

"aiya, 我现在在睡觉, 不要吵我, 自己叫朋友载你回, 不然不用回."

就这样,

讲完就挂我的电话,

我想说没有人可以载我回的时间都没有.

其实, 我 suppose 应该习惯成自然.

因为不是第一次了.

可是, 当时真的很想就在马路旁大哭.

一直在那边想,

"我到底是不是我爸爸的女儿?"

"他有当过我是他的女儿吗?"

我知道,

我知道我爸爸做工很累.

他真的很累,

每天只能睡最多4个小时吧.

可是, 为什么会对我说那些不负责任的话?

这几天有一个问题很想问,

"他到底有没有当我是她的女儿?"

如果某天我因为他这样的对待,

而发生了不愉快的事情,

他会伤心自责吗?

是要那样他才注意到我这个女儿吗?

*每次出门, 我都会为我的安全祷告.

昨天,

从我 meet 他们的那一刻起,

我的电话就没有从我手上离开过,

直到第二段路程我坐 jenn 的车.

我知道,

我就算关上了静音.

那一个震动的声音还是会让人知道我的信息来了.

jemima开口说: "哇~fung ming你很忙哦, msg又来了".

这一句话过后,

我就停了.

我知道我其实根本不应该有这样的举动.

即使我多闷,

因为这次的 trip 是 fellowship.

我知道我这样的举动很没有礼貌.

因为很不尊重.

ECA 是有礼貌精神的.

我是他们的一份子,

当然我也要遵守"家规".

其实我很感动,

*哈哈

因为他们对我有要求.

每次和我信息的人遇到家人或吃饭时间,

都会和我说:" sry, parent here/ eating now, msg you later."

我都会想说,

"为什么这样乖?"

现在, 我可以体会.

我可以改掉这种习惯.

因为, 我不是为信息而活.

也许那个路程真的太闷了吧.

每次遇到路程时间比较长的时候,

就很习惯性地去按电话.

其实我事先已经告诉和我信息的人.

我会随时停止手中的信息.

jenn每次都说:

"我们 ECA 永远都是一家人."

AMEN.!!

前几天我突然和妈咪说:

"my dear, 我爱你."

hahahahaahaha~ XD

但是她没有什么反应~ ==

如果不联络是唯一一个办法来维持我们的友谊,

那我真的不会在联络你了.

我真的在乎你这位朋友,

我都主动找你聊天还是怎样,

你给的回报都是: 不开心收场.

为了很小件的事情凶我.

对不起.

我只能说对不起.

我知道对不起也许不会换到你的原谅.

因为从某件事情起,

你开始就不喜欢我,

甚至反感?

不要说我为了谁谁谁而忽略掉你.

我们的友情,

是被你破坏的.

I Just Love You (Jiu shi ai ni) by David Tao

feel so TOUCH ar.~~~~~~~~~~ xDDD

11-5-11

这几天领受很多.
我要谢谢这三个伯乐的教导


第一个,
我的 shepherd.
前天和她有一个对话,
我发觉了,
我错的地方.


她说: 不要把你的"以为"当做"一定".
: 不要把你"以为"的"了解", 当着"一定"的"事实".


很多人都认为,
"哎呀~他一定不介意的...."
"他一定不会不开心的啦~"
"他很乐意的~"


但是他们永远都不会知道,
其实人家只是没有把"介意"放在嘴边,


从这段对话当中,
我知道,
令人和神不喜悦的东西,
我们不要做.
令人和神喜悦的,
不管对方接不接受,
可以做的就去做.
因为,
看到别人微笑, 即使是很浅的一个微笑,
已经是很大的安慰.


真的,
不要"以为",
不要用"以为"去判断一切的东西.
你会因为"以为"而无形中的失去一些你不想失去的东西.


第二个,
林伟吉 (哈哈~特地写华语名的~)


他是一个年纪小过我的男生.
他很小只.
他不喜欢被称赞可爱.
不过我每次都叫他 cutie~ xD


之前我还以为,
他像和他同年龄的般幼稚.
不会成熟到那里去.


昨天和他通话了半个小时.
原来, 我"以为"的一切,
都错了.


聊了很久,
其实大部分都是我在安慰他.
但是鼓励他的同时,
我也鼓励到我自己.


他是一个很在乎人家想法的一个小男生.
他很希望他身边的人开心.
他只要看到人家开心, 他自己伤心着的东西就会忘掉.


我需要改变的,
也是这一点.


我有很多党朋友,
有中华的, 有外面的, 有小学的, 有教会的, 有学校的...


除了教会的,
其他我都已经熟到烂了.


我看到他们开心,
当然, 我也是可以很开心.
但是, 同时,
我也可以假假到一旁不为人知的地方,
流下一滴不开心的眼泪.


我知道,
我都察觉到.
上个星期,
去教会之前, 和妈吗有了一些争吵.
还哭了一段时间.


是我的shepherd载我去教会的,
然而从我上车的那一刻开始,
他们已经知道我不寻常了.


虽然每次我在车上,
都是静静的.


我也不明白,
为什么我上 jason 或 derek 他们的车,
我可以讲讲讲讲讲讲到他们觉得我很烦.
然而, 对着教会的,
我就是静静地.
也许还没混熟吧~
我这个人在不熟悉的情况之下会很慢热.
需要点时间.
哈哈~


我真的希望我不会在带着沮丧的心情去教会.
因为 that's not suppose to be.
在神的国度,
我们应该喜悦的.
*我要加油 =)


最后一个,
erm~
该怎么说呢?


这是无形中令到我改变的~


我要谢谢我的 Mr.blue.


*如果他看到他应该会说: 我几时是你的? (哈哈哈~)


是他教我怎样去对待爱情.
*其实也不是他教的, 他负责 hurt 人而已~ xD


从他身上看到很多我应该对感情要改善的地方.
我知道其实他也很在乎我.
没有表现出来并不代表我不懂.


但是, 他的在乎方式,
往往会使我们吵架.


Mr.blue,
我知道那天我的语气重了一点.


==
*本来我想说: "哎呀~算啦, 他不会相信的"


改变改变,
Mr.Blue,
我是真的很在乎你,
不过, 在乎的方式,
和以前不一样了.


以前你是我的好朋友,
现在我当你好像我哥哥那样.
*虽然你不是
我是真的在乎你这个死党.


很感谢你们在我的生命里出现.
很感谢主把你们放在我的生命里.
那一份感激,
很难用言语来表达.


最近的生活,
很乏味.


不知道为什么,
我变得很宅.
我一直想躲在家里不出门.
出去又想快快回家.


是好事么?
哈哈~
在家又没事干~
但是不知道为什么,
总觉得时间过的很快.
是因为等待的关系吗?
*也许吧~


我害怕我习惯这样的生活方式.
我害怕来得快, 去得也快.


有一个女生对一个男生说,
"那个女生真的很聪明, 不过她也是很理智, 因为她知道聪明的人才可以维持到任何感情."


可是, 事实上那个女生已经开始有了微微的不理智.
因为, 她已经习惯了他们相处的时间.
她总是会在等待男生找她的时间.


很难避免吧~


虽然他们不是男女朋友, 也不是好朋友.

9-5-11

hmm~
what gonna blog?


yesterday.
wow~


I love Sunday so much.!
because i can go to Cheras ECA.
*heehee
it's doesn't mean i don't like Kepong ECA.


i brought a bad mood went over there yesterday.
*it's not supposed to be.
*sorry Lord.


ECA worship team is always that powerful and encouragement.
My burden throw away immediately when they are worshiping.
*hee


*bee, yesterday they sang a song and i think of you.
i think you can guess what song is it.
And i miss you with smile. =D


yesterday was Mother's day.
haaaa~
Actually i plan to say "i love you" to my mummy.
but, *haha, i'll LOLss.


i tried,
i called her,
"mi mi mi"
*i already prepared to say that 3 words.
guess what?
she answered me with seriously,
"what what what? don't keep calling me, that's sure not a good thing."
*hahahaha


i was LOL, and she looked at me with wondering.
*hahaha
and i just GAVE UP.


(mi, you missed a chance to let me say the 3 words to you~)



here i say to you,
MOMMY, I LOVE YOU.


haaa~


went to Jusco with family yesterday.
guess what?
dinner there @ food and tea.
*OMG
fed up.!!!


i met KC,
i had a good talked with him. =D
we talked a lot about school.
*i miss school.


when i want to go back,
* i have been in the parking lot.
OMG.!
Terrible thing happened.


i know someone was going over there.
but i thought i would not see the person.
because i'm going home then.


when i step out from lift.
I was replying msg then,
and i looked up.
OMG.!!
i was stuck there.!!!!!!!!!!
someone was in the car and looked at me.



SCARY.
I was not prepared to respond.
and i just RAN.
*hahahahahah~lolsss...



Gosh.
i couldn't restore my nervous within half and hour.
*i know it's exaggerated. haaa~


hmm~


i know all my friends are worry me.
but, i'm ok.
Don't worry.
I can settle myself.
I'll be responsible for my choice.
* i know somebody will be disappointed when saw this.
*bless me? =)


someone, please trust me,
I LOVE THEM more than other.

6-5-11

today, two things happened.


是我对沮丧麻木了么?
我明明真的很伤心.
我很想哭的时候,
原来,没有眼泪流下来.


你不能判定我对这一党的真心.
我没有写虚伪的句子.


我不会再写我爱你们.


我还以为你是最了解我的.
原来不是.


酱多年朋友
我看透你了

5-5-11

something happen into my life recently.
first time ever i met up this kind of things.


I've no idea how come i can't sleep well recently?
i kept awoke at the night.
i wanna pray.
Pray for a baby-sleeping.



I have a best friend.
She is very moody recently.
I heartpain.
because i can't help her and i don't even know what's going on.


*maybe i know what's going on.


i really love her.
i can do anything for her.
because i really care all about her.


i know, she love me too.
yesterday she told me,
she don't even willing to hurt me.


dear,
maybe i know what's going on.
IF, i'm just a IF.
The people who hurt you is me,
i hope you can tell me honestly.
we can share to each other.


IF, you think that's hurt me if you told.
you just tell me,
i really can't even bear to see you keeping everything into your heart.
It will made sickness.
I'm willing to let you hurt me.
and i think that's a peanut-matter for me.


Truth, dear.
I really you.

2-5-11

很没有心情打英文.


4天的使徒先知大会
就这样结束了
得着很多
我超喜欢这4天的敬拜赞美
很轰动!
我喜欢 Ron sawka 的讲道
有感动
也和我的教会弟兄姐妹建立起很好的关系
还有
可以看到我的 BEE.!!!!!
Angeline, Angelina, Angeldoreena~ xD
*only bee can get it~ xD
赞!


今天
很值得纪念
因为
对我而言
有一个小奇迹发生
我起初还以为是我想太多
那不会发生的


当一发生
我真的不敢相信


我很wonder那是我的异想
还是什么


到这一刻
还感觉在做梦似的


可是,
我不会期待太多.


因为
我不想再失望. =)

26-4-11

happy that i know you care me.
alright,
you're my good friend forever ya.!
Mr.Blue =)


God blessed,
the sixth night,
totally no more you in my dream.
i had a dream.
A dream totally without you.!


hmm..
I'm thinking to change my name,
change to the Christian name which Uncle David gave me,
it's a nice and meaningful name.
friends, give some idea?


don't stop to pray for my face.
I needs your pray.


I miss Girls.
I miss Beeeeee!
I miss Even.
I miss Esther.
I miss Xiao Xiao.
I miss Mr.Blue.
I miss Shi di.
and,
I miss Mr.SV

23-4-11

many people were said: fung ming was missing.

*lol

i'm still here larr...

hmm...

my recent life is quite busy.

teach my 2 little bros.

help my mum.

it's took nearly half a day.

night,

play guitar.

plan my future.

take care of my bros.

and sleep.

*haha, sounds like boring, but actually i enjoy this life.

hmm...

yesterday was Good Friday.

I'm glad i did not miss it.

I feel sorry and guilty.

...

hard to express that ashamed.

I just weeps.

sorry of it.

the guilt still in my mind.

i'm expecting for tomorrow.

Easter day.

first time as a Christian to celebrate it.

=)

那一年.梦想

facebook真是个好玩意儿
昨天, 无意间 add 了两个小学的朋友
是舞蹈学会的朋友.


那个小学的六年,
我都为学校奉献了不少.
回忆满满.!


幼儿园时代,
妈妈就认为,
女孩子家应该学跳舞.
毕竟每个家长们都希望自己的孩子在舞台上有一番作为.


可能在幼儿园的时候,
舞蹈基础打得稳吧~
小学一年级的面试,
我就升级进了校对.



不是我夸大其词,
一, 二,三年级的时候,
教练都很看好我.
给的角色都不轻.
所站的位置,
不是最前面,
就是在中间.



可能越大就越懒惰吧.~
四年级开始,
就开始不专心.
又跌班,
妈妈希望我可以专心在学业上,
所以, 退出了这个学会半年.



半年以后,
舞蹈学会的老师召我重返这个舞台.
更何况,
在家里很闲啦~
要求妈妈给我练回舞.



重返这个原本的世界,
都以为不难习惯.
但是,
身体的关节开始硬了.
一字马, 走型了.



我的阶级被老师降了级.
都不显眼.
练舞的时候都会被骂.
久而久之,
不被重用了.



学校的舞蹈学会,
有分3种.
舞蹈, 韵律操, 流行歌舞.



emm~
所谓的舞蹈,
其实也是最重要的啦~
它是很有角色性或戏剧性的舞蹈.
为了争取最主要的角色,
老师都会透过筛选来判定.
所以,
这是最受欢迎.



韵律操呢,
就是 Gymnastic 啦~
有呼拉圈, 健身球, 跳绳, 彩带...
很费体力的一种舞蹈.
要求舞出最美的姿态.
所以, warm up 不简单.
拉筋超痛.!



最后一个,
很轻松的,
只是好像 mv 那样跳就行了.



由于时间,
还有老师针对的关系.
(*当时的我是这样觉得啦~)
最后一年,
我只参加韵律操.
之前我都"一身两职"
最重要的那两种.



我还记得最后一年,
我拿彩带的角色.
因为台上出了糗.
我的性格就是,
摆整体 post 的时候,
我在台上哈哈大笑.
结果一下台,
就被老师捉到一旁训了一顿.




最后一次的校外表演,
应该是在绿野仙踪吧~
很记得那一个晚上,
因为是最后一次.



上了中学,
因为不想再给人家觉得"娇"的感觉,
就放弃了舞蹈.
再小学都被说学舞蹈是娇婆嘛~



看了那两个朋友的照片,
原来她们还在为舞蹈战争.
很值得鼓励.



我想念一群舞伴一起跳舞.
为比赛而地狱似的练习.
比赛的前一个星期都必须留下来练舞.
用上课时间练舞.
用假日时间练舞.
练完一次又一次,
教练也不给喝水.



为比赛而紧张.
一大班舞者到处表演.
一起化装.
一起换装.
一起绑头发.
一起彩排.



找回舞蹈的热诚.
很想轰轰烈烈地在台上干出一番成绩.



我想念家人来观看的感觉,
很久很久,
无论什么表演,
他们都不会出现在观众席.



想念舞蹈的美态,
都叙说着一个故事.
每一个姿势,
不是一朝一夕的~
都是被黑青和骨折而成长的.



舞蹈是有成就感的一种生命,
它呈现最真实的杰出品.



我想,
我又爱上了舞蹈.

说不乱想,
其实很难,
因为我在意.

LORD

i miss my "home".
i miss the lively, lovely, youthful and holy "home".

i miss my shepherd.
have a long time didn't really chat with her.
here to congrats her,
because she graduated from college.

i miss my "brothers and sisters",
the worship time with them.

i love to pray.
and i'm addicted to pray.

i pray for those i don't like.
i pray for those i hate.

that's not so-call pretending.
because Bible teaching,
LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.

i want to curse foul language, when i HATE.
i really WANT TO.!!!
but, i pray instead of it.
*fung ming, stay calm.

a song . a memory .

can you see the "graffiti" upon my hand?
my dear EVEN wrote 1. =)

ok,
back to the topic.


today,
when i'm playing facebook,
i saw a singer's post.
i've no idea why i would click in.
i just too bored and check the singer's comment.
and saw a song lyric.
that's a song with a great memories, for me.
from that moment,
i'm crazy to listen the song, until now.


those pictures just like a slideshow,
appear in my mind.


allow me to say that i miss the scene.?
*lolsss.


time often flies so quickly.
unconsciously, already....
i want to say out loud,
i miss the past.
those all were never ever could come back again,
i knew, though.


well,
take it as, growth of memories. =)

<最珍贵的角落>

当你被花朵包围尽情欢欣
我带春风使你舞其中
当你正走在忐忑路
我会伴你在左右

一起向蓝天欢呼向白云招手
我们要一起笑一起哭
千万人中有个人懂我
你有最珍贵的角落




这首歌有三个很美好的回忆
1) '10 MPH school camp (营歌)
*第一次听
2) 用钢琴弹给我亲爱的师弟听
*学了一个星期
3) '11 April fool
MPH homeschooling最后一天





我还以为
我会哭得稀里哗啦
还好
没有那么夸张
看到你们这样
其实心很痛




心情到现在还没有平伏
一来我想到你们哭到这样
真的很难形容那一种痛
二来,
我真的很想念你们.!





好吧,
我该交代一下为什么我会要转校.
1) 家庭和学校给的压力 (不方便说)
2) 我希望有一个真正学习到的"学校"
3) 不希望继续地浪费钱和时间
我真的很舍不得你们
但是, 转校对我来说是一种释放.
这些年扛着的压力,
我可以放下来了.
现在的心情好像,
关在鸟笼的小鸟终于自由了.




昨天最后一次的chapel,
我还以为可以来一些不同点的.
原来全程只有我和 kelly在 high~
打tambourine打到手起泡和黑青.
第一次在学校的chapel敬拜到这样 high~
这是必须的嘛.
觉得我癫的我不怪你们.
我知道自己在做什么. xD




之前还以为,
我只会舍不得一些 buddies.
原来,
还有我亲爱的 girl class.
可能是全班最老的关系吧.
还是家里是老大的关系?
我很享受照顾你们的感觉.
我很喜欢教你们做功课.
也很喜欢带领你们玩游戏.
做小老师.
还有,
现在我才发现,
"外号"也可以增加感情.
只要是不难听的外号.
来,
我一个一个为你们介绍我美丽的女孩们.


Girl Class
T. Elaira (小小)<<< teacher, you pattern. xD
外号来源: 因为她很小只嘛~ xD
girl class 的 supervisor~
才大我一年.

小小,
your messages is FUNNY.!
"err...scary..."
"err...problem..."
"err...why you looked at me like that...?"
"oh...i'm wrong...xD"
haha~
do not keep mentioned that i'm fierce larrr~
i'm such a lovely and friendly... =D



Yan Ying (癫癫)
外号来源:最天马行空无厘头的.

癫癫,
the picture you drew for me was sooooooo perverted...
lolss~
i love your foolish and funnier imaginary.
you bring to this class the most interesting atmosphere.
continue to amuse them up.!
maybe you could take my position in this class.
be a LEADER. =)


simbee (bobo)
外号来源: 她的脸很圆.

yea.!
she is the one who always intimate with me.
last chapel,
she played the piano with me <最珍贵的角落>.
haha~
i already told you what i want to tell you by msg.
*sigh~


Even (bob bob)
外号来源: 她很喜欢 spongeBOB. xD

she also is the one who always intimate with me.
i love the "booklet" that you gave me.
TOUCHED and WARMED.
we have a lots of memories.
continue to create our memory of outside the campus.
haha~ xD
heart pain that you cried till the eye go swollen.
but still pretty larrr~ =DD


Kelly (圆圆)
外号来源: 她的脸也是很圆.

not that really get to know you.
a ballet dancer,
i hope i can see your ballet.
and,
CONGRATZ.!
you are wise because you choose to believe in CHRIST.
wow.!


Sou Mun (聪聪)<<< Mr.bean (with 长长)
外号来源: 她很聪明.

forget to say,
nice to meet you.
haha~
you came to this school already 3 months.
and, you choose to leave at last.
( left with me...)
this 2 days only started to get to know you.
you are FRIENDLY.!
now i only aware.!
is it too late? haha~
by the way,
you transfer back to your former school.
your actual life...
hope you won't forget this GIRL CLASS.
keep in touch with them and ME =D


Liwen (长长)
外号来源: 她长. xD

i loved your smile and voice.
haha~
you are such a crazy, now i know.
your homemade pastry was tasty.!
that could warm us. =D


Yee Shuan (三三)
外号来源: 因为这个小瓜很三八. xD

three three,
i'll not forget you are the one of my lovely members at '10 school camp.
haha~ still remember our dance?
"bad romance"
xD
heartpain that heard you cried till sleep.
its make you having nightmare.
be relaxxxxx~
i promise you i'll date you girls out. =)
sayang sayang =D
and also CONGRATZ to you,
finally, believe in Christ.
stay brave to transform your family.!
good challenge my dear~


sharon (八八)
外号来源: 和三三同组 xD

what a cute girl you are?
you looks so easy to bully~ xD
haha~ never mind...
i know Javen can protect you. xD


Eng Wei (捏捏)
外号来源: 很好捏.

you are new to this school for 3 months.
also, this 2 days only started to get to know you.
CRAZY.!
you are such funny and crazy.
yo.!
shoulda known you earlier.
i can imagine this girl class will be different of interesting,
when you melted with them.


christina (矮矮)
外号来源: 她矮. xD

you gave me the teeth mark still here.
painful when you bite me.!
were you trying to eat my hand? LOLss...
short short,
you are a girl needs to be looked after.
*Girls, help me take care of this girls ok.?


dear Girl class,
remember what i told.
1) be automatically to know new student, show your lovely and welcome them to this class.
2) take care of your neighbor.
3) show Girl Power.! =D
4) study hard ya.! =)
I'll miss you all.!
keep in touch with me and Sou Mun.


HengDaiJiMui.
Estherrrrr,
first time ever i saw you...
actually i didn't even know.
after someone told me,
and i saw you leave out the class, and not going to upstair.
my tears...
i want to tell them you already walked out this class.
but, hard to open my mouth.
the tears killing my heart and i just kept point the door.
1 mins after,
i calm down,
i pointed the door and told them, esther at outside.
the moment was touched me.
because i never see...
esther, i never think that i have such a seat in your heart.
but, since yesterday.
i love you, my sis. =)




Steven Lim (shi di)
finally, you gave me a hug.
haha~



Derek,
i'm waiting to see you at ECA =)



CC,
i forget to give you a hug hor?
haha~
*later someone kill me...



Friends.
Lawrence,
smileeee when playing drum.
lolsss, you looked so serious.
that can make people couldn't enjoy in it.! xD


Marcus,
date me out when you free lar~
don't so miss me~ xDD




eh,
i haven't introduce my "nickname".
my nickname is 满满
外号来源: 因为身材苗条, "他们"觉得我的上半部很丰满.
haha~
i love this name so much wor.
because i also like a song name 满满.
sounds nice also.
but do not to think of the pervert things larrr~
hee =D





everybody take care and study hard.!
mwah~

Chappies

S.L
your attitude has changed.!
every time date you go out,
the first reaction you would said:
"tired ar.~"
*i just give you a DAMN.!
how can you don't cherish our friendship?
not the case before.
where it goes?
i mentioning i confirm to swift school ON PROPOSE.!
but what a inhospitality reaction you gave me?
"T-I-R-E-D" !!!
that's hurt me you didn't know.
k, i'll less contact with you after 2 days.
because, you're worthless.!
if you did really feel tired, ok, you just don't join.
I'll also "bek cek" to see your "TIRED FACE". !!!



i care all about you,
because i treat you as my dear.
i knew that you are rebel now.
and know many outside-boys.
i just take care of you.
i don want you being astray.
perhaps you are very angry on me now.
but well,
what i did is for your own good.



another chappie,
i don want to write at here.
i'll write a LETTER for you.
==



i hope our gang could be a gang with lovely, co-operation, teamwork and love each other with fair.



i just came back from played basketball with ECA dudes.
wow.~
so tired~
i love you guys' spirit.
no bad words when playing basketball.
what a good CHRISTIAN.
=))
yea~
we are the same world. xDD



bee,
sorry for i didn't reply your msg.
because...............................
phone out of credit.!!
wahahahaha~ xD
i'll tell you tomorrow how was today~ =D

29-3-11

我没有后悔做这个决定.
我只是害怕,
那一天,
我会哭到像鬼.


你们这群小瓜,
平常又不见你们那么"肉麻"
看到你们的部落格.
很感动.
发自内心的感动.
我很强忍我的眼泪.
*顺便来个练习嘛~xD
很没有用hor~
还是被你们弄哭了~
魏依凡, 李依温, 曹嫣芹, 孙美仪, 曹晓萱.
我爱你们.



我舍不得洗掉在我手上的"涂鸦" xD





适当的那一天,
我会写出"遗言" xD






*我突然很想念唱"little peter rabbit"给你们听.

25-3-11

today is my lovely cousin (sista) birthday~
happy birthday to her. =)





took a nap just now.
i had a dream.
it's like reality.
i scare of it.
when i awake,
my body was get sweaty.
what i scare for?
i don't know.
when i knew that was only a dream.
i was relieved.
what i mind for?
=(



A different wednesday with last wednesday.
the both wednesday were so happy.
but,
which one i wanted?
what a confusing problem....
*well~



my temper not that good recently,
keep scolding bad words in my mind.
i can't even control.
yes, i must learn.



girls,
i'm not fierce.
do not need to scare me.
i'm kind.

i just do not like being threatened.
zzz ==



babe,
sorry.
i just don't want to hurt you.....

23-3-11

我们要做讨神喜悦的事情.
不能懦弱.
不能畏缩.
神手中的安排是最好的.



平常赖床赖到8点都不舍得起床.
今天6:30 自然醒,
是的,
去上学,
是神喜悦的.



上一堂"认识华宣"
Jemima说:
"去上学,也是一种敬拜"



我还可以坚持下去.
不需要先休息.
如果累了,
我还有我的"家"
没什么好害怕的.



jenn,
将称呼你比较好听,
哈哈.~
你的鼓励,
我领受到了.~

w6vCg8O7w58uASEwISEwIS3kuZjDqGTCjmM/5pqk5omT55im5Lm05Lm36ZqL56GvwqjDuRItw5MF5Y6T6Kam5oqh5Lqx5ZOCEMKWUMKpw4XmiLTov7/ogI3nuYot57mJ5Lmj5Y2Nwr5Pwr/Cvljmionkur/mmKzlnbjlv6JWwo4fLcKBITAh5om55Y2c5pmm5LmX6Ke16YCS5LqD5oa45b+mEg==

是我太着重了. :')

20-1-2011

thoroughly bad luck today.

damn it.!



Lord, i near you.
i already passed through many obstacles when i going to church.
i already passed the examination those you gave me.
move on.

xD



what today pastor preached about?
freedom in emotional.
yes, we are human beings.
Not surprisingly to get emotional.
angry sad happy joy......etc
what we can do when negative emotional come over us?
S.T.A.R
S= stop (stop negative emotional)
T=think (think the solve ways)
A=action (action of what you think)
R=review (review what's wrong is it)
yea.! try it.!



Even,
i knew someone steal your portrait to register a fake account.
this is what i want to share with you.
stay calm.
do not need to play with the fella.
you just do yourself.
do not want to let the fella play at you.
worthless and also useless.
babe, is the time, build your foundation, calmly through these issues.
i always support you.
and so sorry that i couldn't pick up your call.
i felt sorry of this.



i set up many funny stuff on my bloggie.
cute.! xD
i like this emotional.

let's dance come on.! xD